Q & A 4
"Being your Self
connected"
Q:
Although I am quite happy with myself, I often feel isolated from others. Not in the
social sense, but deep down I miss communion on the soul level. Could you please comment
on this?
A: To be (unconsciously) identified with your thoughts, emotions and
desires excludes communion, not only with your fellow human beings, but also with your
deeper Self, the Divine and nature. You are like a child obsessed with its toys.
Q: Could you explain?
A: Your life is self-entertainment. You identify with the I, the self and
parts of the self in order not to be confronted with your true Self. The paradox is this:
on the one hand the longing (for Unity) is there, while simultaneously being afraid of
loosing your identity. You are afraid of emptiness, hence you fill in the gap with
anything that you come across. It is the essence of self-obsession.
Q: I have very satisfying relationships,
but always of short duration. It is shared interest, that brings us together, but also let
us part again.
A: Yes, you share a part of your surface, rather than coming to a deeper
commitment. If you are still afraid of your deeper Self, you’re automatically afraid
of the depth of contact with others as well. Try the leap into yourSelf and the entire
existence will opening ItSelf up to you.
Q: I do bumpy jumping. Is that what you
mean?
A: If that is what it is, then you know what I mean (laughed).
Q: My practice of meditation gives me
glimpses of my true Self. However, I still feel isolated from my environment. I feel
there’s something missing.
A: Well, if your come deeper into yourSelf, but still fail to be
connected, then indeed there is reason for having a closer look at your practice. Please,
relax, feel the contact of your body with the earth, be the watcher and tell me what you
see. After a while:
Q: It is this feeling contact with the
earth, that makes the difference. Normally my attention just goes within, without making
contact whatsoever.
A: It is just a matter of preconceived ideas. If you think that
„self-absorption" is the goal, then you practice introversion. If you think that
your aim is opening your Self up to Reality - in which inner and outer are One - then your
practice will be different. The miracle is, that the more you restore contact with your
body and its direct surroundings, the sooner your awareness will expand. „Heaven and
earth" appear to be complementary to each other.
Q: So without including the
„earth", self-investigation and meditation are just a kind of self-torture.
A: That is what many people seem to prefer, rather than being liberated.
The first is keeping you busy, through the second you suddenly have nothing to do anymore.
The criteria for optimal spiritual practice is, that becoming your Self and becoming
connected to your environment go hand in hand.
Q: Therefore your motto „being your
Self connected?"
A: Right. It happens on various levels simultaneously. Relaxation,
opening up to the body runs parallel to expansion of inner space. Then, once the true Self
has established it Self, it appears that it is not only your essence, but the Essence of
everything alive. Furthermore, once your body is transcended, everything around you - the
chair, the carpet, the door, the grass and the trees - appears to be part of the same
Space.
Q: I once had an Experience in which I
suddenly dissolved in my own Depth. It was indeed vast, limitless and timeless.
A: The meaning of our times in which „everybody is thrown upon
oneself" is that the vertical dimension - the relationship between the individual and
the Divine - is explored and deepened. People who are able to testify about the true
nature of IT, should share their treasure with others (smiled, embraced her).
Q: If you haven’t had such an
experience, how could my relationship with others change?
A: By being totally yourself, both „vertically" in restoring
the unity with your Self and „horizontally" by being connected to your
environment. By doing so you create a context, a matrix in which your relationship will
thrive. Relationship isn’t „personal", it is cosmic. It is about restoring
the fabric of life, in which all colors, motives, materials etc. appear to be
interrelated. Without restoring the matrix, no real relationship will ever be established.
Q: Could you give examples how to achieve
these things in daily life?
A: Practice your twofold Origin through a mantra (for instance „part
of the Whole") and body(feeling) awareness.
Secondly create several situations in which you are alone. Use it for silence, meditation
and self-investigation. A special corner or space in the house would be very
recommendable. Agree on times of silence between you and your partner, in which you
communicate through feeling, body contact, intuition and awareness only.
Q: Maybe I could add something to it. I
am married to an Asian woman. She always says „yes" to my remarks, also in cases
where we would say „no". For instance, when I say: „it isn’t cold,
isn’t it?" she doesn’t say „no", like we do, but „yes".
In the beginning this was strange to me, but after a while I understood the meaning of it.
Asians do not resonate with what you say, but with you, the sayer. That means, rather than
conforming the remark, they are conforming the person behind. The „yes"
expresses the joy that you are there.
A: Yes, it takes away lots of potential
useless discussions. What also could help here is to simply repeat what the other is
saying. If she says: „I so much enjoyed our trip today" your answer could be
(rather than saying „me too"): "o, did you enjoy it". By conforming
each other, opening yourself up to your partner in daily things, your relationship will
become much more peaceful, gentle. The chance that it deepens is correspondingly.
Q: Could you also extend these principles
to love- and sexlife?
A: Sexlife is not something apart from daily life. It you restore the
matrix everything appears to be inclusive. This very inclusiveness is love. Love is the
celebration of Unity which is always there. It is a matter of Being rather than doing, let
alone the ugly „making".
Q: In love I often become more quiet,
rather than excited. In the beginning I thought there was something wrong, but recently I
understood that this might well be the „gate to Heaven".
A: Okay, these are the basics. First create an environment with gentle
colors, smell, the quality of light, candles or music. Then you reunite with your own
body, become aware of it, feel it. Feel it in contact with the bed, the sheets. After a
while your direct surroundings - including your lover - appear to be an extension of your
body-awareness. Senses become more subtle. Relax and do nothing.
Q: Nothing? (laughter)
A: You train yourself in becoming the cool ocean, in which a hot spring
continuously erupts and returns. You become the space in which excitement comes and goes.
The more aware you become, the more you will understand the positive feedback between
innner clarity and desire. Expansion and excitement go hand in hand. Then, when non-doing
has established itself, you unite with each other. The paradox is „the more excited
you become, the more relaxed". (of course men don’t ejaculate). It is the
reversal of the common „climbing the mountain". Suddenly both become One with
the Eternal Valley, a timeless and limitless Space. It is an „orgasm" like you
have never experienced before. One warning: don’t start trying, but let it happen!
(laughed).
Q: Is this what they call tantra?
A: Yes, it is. As you have seen, in tantra „energy" is only
secondary. Rather than to focus on it, you let it dissolve in Heavenly Space. 2)
2. For the difference between tantra and kundalini, see 3.Initiation.
Q: I could imagine, that if this kind of
quality becomes part of one’s relationship, it would have its effects on the
community as a whole. Please, comment.
A: We have entered a decisive stage in which Self-realization has to flow
into a new kind of community. It is the upgrading without which everything will further
degenerate. Keeping IT for yourself is a sin against humanity, against life. The Ultimate,
the Space in Which everything is, has to be shared with everyone, nobody and nothing
excluded.
Q: Isn’t there a special task for
women here?
A: Through patriarchy we were always obsessed with society, corporations
and the state. In these times in which the old framework is loosening up, it becomes
increasingly (and painfully) evident, that community is the looser here. Rather than
trying to make career in „society", women could see their chance in fulfilling a
leading role in restoring our communities.
Q: Don’t they loose the chance to
gain real power?
A: You should restore your own powerbase first, reclaiming your spirit,
body and souls, your families, your street, the neighborhood, the commune and your region.
Being your Self connected, establishing concentric circles from the center to the
periphery, everything will become integrated in a new model of society.
Don’t hesitate, do it.
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