The problem of today is that this world has fallen apart without providing a young man support, recognition and meaning to his life. Deep within he is subjected to a fatal insecurity about his identity.

While fanatical feminists enjoy this development - men harvest what they have sewn - to (wo)mankind as a whole this is a disaster. For the wellbeing of women is depending on the wellbeing of men.

The sad thing: while millions of poor women further impoverish (even in Western Europe), being oppressed and discriminated, a small group of well-to-do women has internalized patriarchal "values" by pursuing a capitalist career, alienated from their cyclic nature and bodies...... identifying with the (male!) rationalist ego, while rejecting mother(hood), everything under the banner of feminism...(sic)

See: "Wise Women", "Weise Frauen" (Deutsch)

While on the other hand the problem for many men is that they don't have the power to develop a mature future. On the contrary, what you see is a rapid deterioration of male functioning. On many levels, to start with school, boys and men are behind of women.

As such this wouldn't be a problem if society could adapt to the new situation. In reality this a far dream. Men become "lonely wolves" roaming around full of frustration, anger, bitterness and.....violence.

The Western male capitalist ego has dugged its own grave. For its "ideal" has been independence, rationality, competition, soul & body denial, work-obsessed, alienation from life, and self-reliance.

WESTERN AND CHINESE MEN

In contrast the traditional self-understanding of e.g. Chinese men used to be based on living according to Cosmic Balance, harmony with the ancestors, respect towards elderly members of the family, care for body and mind....

While the fears of Western ego circle around "getting lost" in a greater whole ("loosing oneself) the Chinese male has made "to become part of Tao" the ultimate goal of life.

The shock to Western men: the Chinese counterparts aren't less "masculine", "mature", "powerful" or even "effective".  On the contrary: we all know now that traditional Chinese values are a strong foundation to even being successful in a world (still) dominated by capitalism.

It all depends on self-definition! It appears that Western ego is self and life-denying. It has lost contact with itself and its immediate surroundings. It is an artificial entity. This entity fears everything with which it has no contact with, to start with femininity.

If rationality is your "core-value" then everything "non-rational" becomes a threat. This fear has been projected into women. The irony: while men face the collapse of this their self-image, an increasing number of women adopt it!

The challenge for men is to learn and accept that they created their own mess. Making your life depending on a life-denying self-definition is asking for trouble. Men have to start with coping with their fear of life.

From the very beginning this is centered around the "confrontation" with the all-powerful femininity, which characterizes the beginning of his life. As said above the answer was sought in developing a strong ego WESTERN STYLE.

Chinese men are a puzzle in this regard. How can they survive the early dominance of the mother? Without developing a "strong" ego? They all must be mother weaklings. Apparently they are not. So how they "did it?"

During many millennia Chinese have been educated as part of society for which they are responsible. Unlike the West where the "free" (selfish!) ego is the highest goal, in China the community comes (came) first. (NB. Unfortunately this did NOT include women! Confucianism is decidedly patriarchal. Women emancipation was only introduced by Mao Ze Dong...).

However: Chinese males didn't have the ideal of "personal freedom" in the Western sense, namely a life entirely by yourself and for yourself. As a consequence, no-one (no mother) is standing in their way. From the beginning males understand that they have to arrange themselves WITHIN the context of a greater whole.

THE MOSUO

To make the contrast more sharp I will take the Mosuo men - part of "matriarchal" people in Southern China - as an example. Society is structured along the line of mother-centered families.

It means that all children remain part of their own family, no one lives with a member of another family. These extended families consist of a grand (grand) mother, together with their daughter/mothers and their children - daughters and sons, while the eldest male, usually the brother of the (grand) mother, has the role as "uncle" or social father of all children.

The difference with Western education: boys and girls remain under the wings of the mother(s) (aunts, cousins), while at the same time grow up identifying themselves with their own gender roles. How is that possible? I stayed with the Mosuo myself, interviewing men. Without exception these were strong, self-confident and very warm-hearted and joyful persons.

The secret is the group. Let's talk about the boys specifically. Although receiving love and care of the mother(s) the actual daily life is spent with the "uncle" and other boys. Why with the "uncle" and not the father? Well, because the biological father isn't part of the family e.g. isn't often even known.

Although the mother is always present, boys are not fixed on her. They identify with the social father (who has no personal claims on the children) and the group. Boys are "group-animals" after all (compare their roles in the work-place, the football club, the pub and the army). They learn about themselves by sharing life with other boys.

No chance for any "oedipal relationship". It means that the Mosuo achieved a healthy balance between "being yourself and living in harmony with the community". Boys are very affectionate with the females (no any reason to reject, nor hating them!), while simultaneously enjoying their roles as males.

CURRENT DETERIORATION

A first conclusion is that our monogamous family, in which children are forced to identify with one parent only, is one of the root causes of our current trouble. The current breakdown of that family structure is therefore not a loss. Provided that something better will be put in place within short notice.

For both parents the burden of raising children within the "traditional" family structure has become unbearable. Various factors are involved. The stress of the capitalist rat race forces them to work harder and harder. In order to "survive" both parents have to work. The costs of living have become such that one cannot raise children anymore.

Children are neglected. Many parents don't even provide them with proper food. The former are totally fixed on their personal ego-trips. Children are increasingly not welcome. The single-culture is the end-station of the breakdown of community-life on all levels. All signs that we are approaching a turning-point.

THREE PILLARS

A healthy educational environment consists of three pillars: the family, the school and.....youth movements. First of all, mothers - for the sake of their children - have to become solidary with each other. They should start new style "tribes". Subsequently, the second "echelon" is formed by husbands, partners, friends. They provide the support system to the core group.

It is something that doesn't have to become (forcefully) created. The process is already ongoing. Many one-parent families already consist of a mother and her children, the former often having one or more partners e.g. boyfriends. The next step is that these partners should come together, acknowledging the common responsibility for their core-group.

This comes very close to the Mosuo-concept. Men sharing responsibility rather than having the father-burden alone. They share the work, becoming solidary with each other. Shifting from the capitalist competition to cooperation. Wouldn't that be a relief to all? It is the seed for a larger scale New Community, indeed for a New World.

The second pillar - the school - is a disaster too. Not aiming at critisizing teachers at all. They are often on the brink of a burn-out, due to their unrestrained commitment. No, it is the system, which destroys the life of both children and teachers. The first cause is its one-sidedness, in which only intellectual performance counts. Secondly, the curriculum is dictated by the demands of Big Business.

The school therefore increasingly has become a place where children are brainwashed to become willing slaves to a future work-place. While, upon leaving school, there doesn't appear to be any job for them at all. Or, after having reached their 30s they have become simply "too old" and kicked out. Moreover, the obsession with "virtual communication" alienates them further from life, not to speak of all kind of related disorders popping up.

Youth are the deprived of our Western societies. Neither the family, nor the school giving them any support with regard of their effort to build an identity, to find their way in life, self-knowledge, to establish healthy relationships with their bodies, feelings, sex-life. School serves as mind-training only, what about life-experience, the growth towards maturity?

YOUTH MOVEMENTS

Here the third pillar comes into play. We dearly need the revival of youth movements. It can be compared to the group-education of the Mosuo. Where both family and school fail and further deteriorate, leaving the children in despair, frustration, bitterness, meaninglessness.... often ending up with drugs, crime, violence and extremism.... the youth movements have to fill in the gap.

I have called our initiative the Green Men Youth (GMY) and the Wise Women Youth (WWY). Their primary care is to restore wholeness, to start with themselves. They have to re-discover and re-define the relationship with themselves and their environment.

Who am I? Why am I here? What is my mission in life? How to develop body-awareness and inner balance? What is my relationship with the other sex? How to become part of a (new) community? What is the optimal way to work for a sustainable future? Which profession or activity suits me best? In what kind of society I want to live? What is my relationship toward nature? Toward the Cosmos?

In practice, many models e.g. training programs have been worked out. One is called "To Restore the Wholeness of Life". It consists of re-establishing the unity with your True Self, with your mind, your body and nature, your human environment and with the Divine, everything completed by meditations and various other exercises.

See: "Restoring the Wholeness of Life"

These activities have to be completed by experiences in the field of permaculture e.g. organic agriculture, alternative energy techniques, self-help healing practices (natural medicine), creativity and arts, developing skills in handicrafts and trade, wilderness experience, sports, leisure, dance, and much more

RITE DE PASSAGE

At the end there will be a "rite de passage" to maturity. It reflects the spiritual experience of many cultures. First of all, boys and girls retire from social life. They start focussing on their inner realm. There are group sessions that pave the way for the actual withdrawal into wilderness. This takes e.g.three days. After that everyone goes one's own way, finding a solitary spot where they will stay alone, in silence and while fasting.

I call it "Mother Quest", the Quest for the Source from which everything originates. The aim is to search for the Ultimate Truth in life, while "once and for all" becoming part of the Whole. Thus, you surrender to the Darkness of the Night in order to find the Vacuum, Cosmic Womb or "Vessel of Abundance".

Secondly, you focus on the inner Light, the Divine Spark within yourself. Subsequently, restoring intimate contact with your body and nature is a further crucial step toward Wholeness, while thoughts, emotions, desires, fears, worries, insights, obsessions, images, visions.... come and go. You watch and feel them, learning from them, while remaining the observer.

After three days the participants re-join sharing their experiences, receiving feedback from the trainers. The core-exercises remain part of your life guiding you through all further stages. As a member of the Green Man Youth, the Wise Woman Youth respectively, you may decide to become a fully trained Green Man or Wise Woman, committing yourself to "Healing the Planet".

See: "Transformatorium", "The Mosuo"

Additionally in German:
"Die Ganzheitliche Transformation"

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