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REVELATION OF THE GREAT MOTHER
1. Absolute Nothingness
India, October 9th, 1977
1. It happened in that garden. I found myself in an extraordinary condition, which had been going on already for some days. It was a state of being lifted out above ordinary things. People and events did not have the usual appeal anymore. The pattern of acting and reacting had become irrelevant. Something special was happening to me. I was totally overflowing with it. Thoughts had lost their grip on me.
2. My body and its environment were very much alive and I was experiencing an extraordinary contact with them. Paralleling a spontaneous growth of increased inner clarity, my body gradually became lighter and more transparent. It first started in the feet. There the energy was cleared away like a blanket of fog, leaving behind a bright transparency. While the pureness rose up, any heaviness simultaneously disappeared out of my body till finally my head was filled with a crystal clear clarity. (Note: all this did not happen in my imagination. This is more real than reality.) A circle of energy remained on the crown of my skull.
3. This circle appeared to be the centre of my actual alertness. I, as well as my surroundings was perceived from here. However, very little was left of myself. Neither the body nor thoughts were able to influence my inner awareness. It was the very quality of Self, enjoying Itself blissfully. I realized that I had found myself in the margin of my actual existence; just one fraction away from the Great Unknown. Intuitively I realized the invitation to the great leap and the consequential necessity of utter surrender.
4. Suddenly I was struck by a terrible Lightening and in less than a fraction of a second my existence was wiped out. It was a moment of Absolute Darkness. As my memory has failed to reproduce it - in that Moment there wasn't any memory - the duration of this terrible moment was unknown to me, so I have no idea how long this extraordinary moment has lasted. But I know it was the Dimension of Absolute Nothingness*.
* This Lightning e.g. Absolute Nothingness is the complete destruction of consciousness by the Vacuum or Great Mother. See "Commentary".
2. The Great Light
5. That which immediately followed transcends all attempts of description. A very alive, brightly transparent clarity appeared to be the Only Reality. I was totally absorbed by and dissolved into this Utmost Purity. The whole world radiated and was exalted and totally transformed. Everything was pervaded by Divine Bliss and incorporated into a fresh, pure and ecstatic Light. It was unwavering and expressed life in its sublimest quality. Everything was dancing. I was able to look into Eternity, nay was Eternity Itself; timeless and without boundaries. All was joy, benediction, a celebration of unity, the Inexpressible and the dance. As I was possessed by a divine intoxication, I laughed continuously for no reason.
6. The Oneness with THAT WHICH I AM and everything "around me" lasted all day. Everything had lost its separate identity, just like me being non-existent, instead possessing eternal quality: the grass, the flowers and the birds. Nothing existed on its own. Nothing fell apart. Without any exception, everything was part of the Whole, everything interconnected, the fabric of life. Absorbed by the same Suchness, everything radiated THAT! Everything being the content of the Eternal, there was not any difference between me, the grass, the flowers and the birds.Their Essence and mine were absolutely identical. I realized I was no better or even different from them. Since then I have known Reality to be the Essence of the interdependence of all things in which everything is equally unique.
7. In the Purity of the Beyond everything had disappeared. No memory, since the ego dissolved, just knowing, IT knowing ITself. There is no outside" anymore, everything has become absorbed - without leaving a trace - by the Ultimate. Everything appears to be IN YOU, the entire universe is the content of (your") Infinite Space. Therefore the paradox is, that by being Nothing, you are everything. Hence, the Ultimate Nondual State is that of inclusiveness. The last delusion is, that the world is somewhere out there (...). Dividing the One into here" and the world there" is yet another (subtle) form of dualism. The logic is this: the more "your" Consciousness is open, the more there is in. Hence, I am - and everybody Is - the One Mind, the all-Embracing One containing everything. In the Ultimate State Emptiness is form", without any dualism left, beyond any attainment, free even from freedom, a State which is natural, transparent, spontaneous, nothing special. Because everything being part of Me, I love everything like myself.
That same night
8. The Great Darkness is a situation, in which you are totally unexpected and suddenly thrown in a dark ocean of limitless horror. The very immediate, direct and timeless anguish is both within and around you. At the selfsame moment the body is decomposing. Your "aura", emotions and thoughts have all disappeared, together with your sense of identity. In my case, an additional terrible smell of decay penetrated me, together with a flash in which worms were consuming my body. Deep within, there were waves of deepest ice-cold electricity. My old self - bodymind - had completely gone.
9. The only thing left in this horrifying dark Suchness was my inner clarity, my awareness. In the midst of this very real and hyperactive black ocean, my awareness was also on the verge of dissolving though. Keeping my alertness was a terrible struggle, while terror and desperation continuously overwhelmed me. It was a matter of life and death.
10. Keeping up this acute awareness lasted for many hours, as I could not afford one moment of weakness. Although my body (body-identity) was gone, I could only survive through sitting in a vertical zazen position... I had to sit accurate within a millimeter. The slightest deviation immediately brought me in acute danger of dissolving. Slowly, as the intensity of the terror increased, so my alertness strengthened. Spurred on by the agony of the terror, my awareness was forced to become as intense, timeless and limitless as the black Suchness around me. Consequently my awareness grew gradually and eventually became an ocean as well. From that moment on, the terror slowly weakened and finally disappeared.
11. Dawn arrived as I looked out of the window. For the first time I realized how long the ordeal had lasted. I also realized that this was the ultimate (spiritual) dying process. I had suffered The Great Darkness ("Death"). It is the underworld in which the hero descends in order to become reborn. Yes, it was really true, that I am a "son/lover" according to the archaic tradition*, and a "delog" (the ones who suffered "The Great Death") according to the Tibetans. The true meaning of the resurrection" has been revealed to me. I was exhausted, but very calm and clear. I felt great benediction and I went out full of gratefulness and enjoyed the early brightness of that wonderful morning. As a Reborn I returned to the world.
* Son/lover of the Great Mother of Sumer and Babylon, later followed by initiation rites of hellenistic religions. Subsequently reshaped by Christianity.
12. In the Great Mother Tradition the teaching is directly derived from Realization. It is a fresh start. It is the reason why an account of personal experience e.g. of Ultimate Realization has been presented here. Through it everything is directly referred to the Origin. Three crucial Moments have to be distinguished. Unique Moments, which will bring about a decisive turn in spirituality. Usually Enlightenment is considered to be the ultimate Realization. Hence, it is said to be the alpha and omega, the aim of countless practitioners.
The claim of
patriarchat appears to be false. The Ultimate Reality
13. Few are aware of the fact, that the Great Light is "only" one side of a coin of which the Great Darkness appears to be the other. The reason is that the latter is extremely rare. Only in Great Mother Religion, Hinduism and Tibetan Buddhism accounts have been preserved. But even there the link between the Great Light and the Great Darkness has not been elaborated. It may therefore come as a shock to you: Enlightenment is part of a polarity and because of that cannot be the Ultimate Oneness. There must be something Beyond. The key to this is Absolute Nothingness, "caused by" Cosmic Lightening as has been described above. In the selfsame Moment as it struck, existence was wiped out in Absolute Emptiness. It is the empirical "proof" of the Vacuum ("Nirvana").
14. Now everything makes sense. The Light, Being, the Divine appears not to be a "dimension on its own", but has been born out of the Void, Emptiness...There thus appears to be a "Mother and Son" relationship between the two. Both the Great Light as the Great Darkness ("Endarkenment") are aspects of the Vacuum Beyond, of the Womb. Thus Absolute Nothingness is the Essence of the Great Mother, Enlightenment (Her Light Body) is Her Creative Aspect, while the Great Darkness is Her Destruction Body*. It corresponds fully with the archaic notion of the permanent destruction and rebirth. Everything without exception - including the Divine - is born out and returns to the Great Mother. As the Matrix of Life, She embraces all existence. Through Her everything is interrelated as all religions are of one family. She is the true Context of life, the Source of Ekayana, the common denominator of all religions.
*The Ultimate Realization is thus
threefold: Absolute Nothingness,
15. Are we - just like 2000 years ago - at
the eve of a worldwide spiritual-religious turning point? Many who have read The Lap
of the universe"* think so. Others are hoping it dearly. This book is the witness of
a new era. The Divine exists, but appears not to be the Ultimate Reality. Both the Eternal
Light and Darkness are nouminous aspects of the Mother. Her Depth is the Beyond of
the Beyond, the Vacuum, the Womb, the Lap of the universe. Hence, the beginning of the
universe isnt male" but female" - in Reality of course neither
of the two - it is (can be named) the "Great Mother" (Matrix). Therefore,
God", Being, Light is not the Father, but the Son. The world isn't a creation,
but a birth. The Light is born in the bottomless Abyss of The Mother. Everything,
including God is born out of Her, while returning in the same Eternal Moment. The purpose
of life is therefore to continuously die and being reborn.
The Ultimate Realization: the recognition of the Mother
16. The Mother represents the essence of life. She includes the various levels of existence: Being as Her Lightbody and the universe as Her Material Body. By (re)connecting to our inner Self and the body we restore the unity with "Heaven and earth". Wholeness includes the unity of the vertical dimension with the horizontal. They represent the various levels of existence - "emanations" - continuously born out of the Vacuum, while returning to Her in the selfsame Eternal Moment. Thus by becoming part of "Heaven and earth" again, we will participate in the Mothers (multi-layer) Body, which is the first step to cosmic unity. It is all very simple. The various stages are: to become aware, seeing "I am here and my thinking is there", thus "I am not my thinking"; to reintegrate the various parts of the small self (emotional self-integration) and to permanently become one with "Heaven and earth". The latter being done by restoring bodycontact with our immediate environment through feeling awareness. This reintegration with "Heaven, earth and the community" is called the Original Tradition*. To be part of this "law of the universe" is our natural state of being. It is a homecoming and the end of all separation and suffering.
* These basic steps towards unity are described in this book. See: Teaching.
© 2005 Copyright Han Marie Stiekema