to die in order to live

Some think, that "The Mother" is just a loving, caring, all-embracing Being. The question is, is that a realistic picture? People increasingly lack basic security. They feel utterly abandoned. As a surrogate, they overcompensate their despair in the projection of a universal Mother. It is very understandable. On the other hand, there are plenty people, who, in some way or another, have a (very) distorted relationship with their mother (parents), resulting in the image of "The Terrible Mother". So, who is the Mother, disconnected from our projections?

We have to distinguish our projections from Reality. Why? Because in the first case, we worship our own needs and desires, only. Now, in a time of disorientation, confusion and powerlessness, this seems to be unavoidable. It is the transition of the old to the new. Many people just construct their "own religions". It is like shopping. They take what "they need". A little of this, here, and a little of that, there. Until they have created something "that suits them". A "god" or "goddess" in your own image. Just like children on the beach, who create their own sandcastle.

Hence, your deity lasts only as long as your need does. If the need is "fulfilled", another one will pop up, though. So does your god or goddess. A need-oriented universe automatically creates forms of "polytheism". What is the underlying psychological mechanism? By creating your deities yourself, you remain in control. In fact, you are the god/goddess, playing with your own toys (images). You have created your own petty self-serving little universe. It is a symptom of fear. Fear of surrendering yourself to the Greater Whole. In Reality, the Divine is playing with you, though.     

In ancient times, the world was still whole, because it included death as a natural phenomenon. It was symbolized by the Cosmic Womb, from Which everything - both Gods and the universe - is born, while the latter continously return to their Source. People revered a cyclic universum. They saw it reflected in the natural processes, which they imitated in agriculture. Their trust in the All-Embracing Cosmic Womb was limitless. Hence, they had no fear of death.

This picture changed over time. The fear of men to be sacrified as a seasonal Vegetation God may have played a role. The Gilgamesh Epic gives account of that. Gilgamesh "thanks for the honor" to become slaughtered, escaped from the Goddess and started his "search for immortality". The accumulation of possessions may also have contributed to it e.g. the fear of loosing what you have. Invading patriarchal warrior tribes did the rest. They cherished a linear universe, with death as the end of individual life.

The climax came with Marduk, the Babylonian God, who finally destroyed the Original Mother (Tiamat). With Her, all sense of being secured in a Cosmic Womb vanished. Existential fear popped up. The Mother's world was subsequently usurped by the One God of Israel, JHWH. Death wasn't considered natural anymore, but an instrument of a revengeful, punishing God. A jealous God, full of fear about a possible return of the Mother. The ruling class used monotheism for their own purposes, oppressing the people.

This combination finally established the reign of fear, which from then on, would dominate later Christianity. Evil e.g. Satan were created. Still very much connected to men's fear of women. The philosophy of dualism supported this. While in the past, everything was part of the Whole - Light coming out of Darkness - these dimensions were subsequently separated as opposites. People were forced to identify with light, while rejecting darkness. This denial became the foundation of patriarchal religions. F.i. the major principle of early Buddhism is "to escape from the cycle of birth and death".

Above mentioned developments have the denial of life in common. Life, that originally belonged to the realm of the Mother. Turning one's back to the Mother resulted in all kinds of morbid convictions and practices. A decisive turning point happened at the end of he Middle Ages. After centuries of oppression and terror by the Inquisition, destroying all contacts with "Heaven, earth and the community", people had no choice, but falling back on their ego's. It was the beginning of a centuries' long ego-accumulation. The cause: "having as the inability to Be". The Church itself thus being responsible for the "secularization".

To be thrown upon yourself e.g. to be cut off from reality creates permanent fear. It is the fear of nothingness, of destruction and death. Hence, a major function of the ego is to suppress it. The time, that death was accepted as part of natural life, was too long ago to be remembered. Moreover, the Church did everything that was in its power to frighten people, painting pictures of hell and damnation. What is (subsequently) excluded from conscious experience, will  be projected in the outside world, though. So, fear of annihilation found its way into destruction of others, in violence and war.*

* Not surprisingly thus, that this is part of the morbid fundamentalists' phantasies: the Apocalyps, in which you - the believers - will be saved, while the others - the non-believers - will be destroyed. True redemption, on the other hand, is the consequence of giving yourself up, which is the core-message of Christ.

The refusal to "die" is the engine behind further ego-expansion. Recently, this has exceeded critical limits. To such an extent, that the dynamic cosmic equilibrium between "death, permanence and rebirth" has been disturbed. Mother's Emptiness doesn't tolerate this. Hence, the rapidly unfolding disintegration on all levels of society. Insight into the true nature of this crisis is decisive. What is destroyed is our ego-accumulation. The selfsame accumulation, that threatens the survival of all living beings. Saving ourselves thus means "to die to the old". It implies cooperation with Mother's wisdom.

In the Vacuum, two major cosmic forces emerge. One toward manifestation (centrifugal) and one back to the Origin (centripetal). The former is causing "birth" (into this world), while the former is responsible for "death". All life is embedded in these two forces. Hence, within ourselves we feel both the longing for the "drive for life", as well as returning to the Source (the "death libido" of Freud). However, by giving in to the latter, the ego - which has identified itself with survival in this world - starts panicking. Its angst is to die into the intangible Nothingness.

To surrender to Nothingness is a tricky affair. Obviously, the idea of Enlightenment makes it all easier. However, trying to attain Enlightenment (almost always) has ego-ambition as the underlying drive. Furthermore, what is the value of "giving up your ego" knowing that the "reward" will be spiritual omnipotence? Who doesn't want to give up this little ego for it? So, eventually, the ego will only be stenghtened. On the other hand, the Vacuum cannot be possessed. It is the hour of truth. Surrendering without expecting anything back.

To know about the All-Embracing Mother - the Vessel of Rebirth - facilitates your surrender, though. It is simply giving in to Her centripetal force. This force is there from eternity. So, you don't have to do anything but accept Her invitation for home-coming. Just like in body-awareness exercises. Rather than "force yourself to relax" you simply give in to the gravity. Because the gravity is doing the work, your ego isn't involved. It is the same with giving in to the Mother. Trust in Her Eternal Wisdom is crucial. It helps you overcome your existential fear.You are free.   

"To die in order to live". This is the motto of all mystics of all times. Nowadays, it implies the breakdown of ego-accumulation. It is a "sine qua non" for saving the planet. It is the reason, why the Mother has revealed HerSelf. She helps us re-integrate Her destructive aspect to the benefit of the whole. If not, our fear will only (dramatically) increase. Thus, the Terrible Mother is only terrible to those, who resist Her. Cooperating with Her, on the other hand, means to voluntary let your ego die off, in order to become reborn as a New Self. In order to subsequently become part of Her web of life - Heaven, earth and he (new) community - once again.

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